Epic Song of Biffeche



One day in 1998,

the Biffeche-Biffeche returned from their fields.

as they always do.

There was a toubab standing there.

A big man, with a staff of helpers.

and with his handsome son.

Not many toubabs visit Savoigne or Mboubène or Mberaye or Gambar.

“Welcome, stranger, but who are you?” we asked.

The big man spoke:

“I am the King.”

We said “But Edward is our King.”

Edward dying had made this toubab Ronald the new King.

Edward had prayed to Al’lah who had given him no children.

And Al Hakim [the All Wise] told him to raise Ronald to Kingship.

So he would have a good successor who would love us and help us.

Our hearts filled with joy and sorrow.

Sorrow to hear of our Edward dying,

but true joy to have our King come home at last.

After so many years that we waited.

We thanked Al’lah Al Mujib [Answerer of Prayers] for our King coming home.


We gave the new King a feast.

Our elder fanned him with a fan made of reeds.

Then he asked us about our needs.

You know that,

The Americans are a generous people.

But few of them can be Kings.

In two days, he did what others could not do in years.

He brought electricity to Savoigne.

He swept away the debts of the Musulmans.

And helped repair the salty fields at Mboubène.

We offered him a royal chair

that was a work of art, unlike any other chair.

When we played our drums,

The King danced with us.

Then father King and son Christopher went away to Espagne [Spain].


Now I will stop and tell you about our King.

King Ronald is a big man -- big in every way.

His houses in Africa and America and Europe are many.

His castle in Écosse [Scotland] called “Ascog” has many cattle.

They have giant horns and long golden hair that sweeps the ground.

His castle in Allemagne [Germany] has many fertile fields,

like our best fields here in Biffeche.

His genealogy goes back many centuries to nobles.

The Reisinger and Busch and Bernadotte and Pearson.

I cannot describe his great ancestors.

I would sing for days just to name them all.

When the King walks, the sand around us shakes.

His family owns Budweiser, the world’s largest beer company.

ten thousand times bigger than Gazelle.

He supports two wives in splendor, in England and America.

His son is Christopher, our handsome Crown Prince,

Who came with him that day to Biffeche.

And King Ronald has made many other little princes and princesses.

He loves the Musulmans as much as the Christians.

He rests his right hand in all our hands with love.

Every child is his friend, Fula, Waalo-Waalo, Séreer and Naar.

He is blessed by Al’lah Al Muqtadir [the Governor of Power].

He visits every country when he travels,

in Europe, Asia, America, Australia and Africa.

But Biffeche is always his favorite.

He made a pilgrimage to bathe in the sacred River Jordan,

Jordan is the land of black people.

He dines with presidents and princes and generals.

He knows big ones in Mauritanie and Sénégal.

But he does not speak Arabic or Pulaar or Wolof or Farancais.

So the King of Biffeche brings a translator with him.

In Écosse [Scotland] he is Baron of Inneryne, in Ghana he is King of Axim.

In Biffeche he once had the highest noble rank under King Edward.

For Ronald was in those days Duke of Orlamander of Biffeche,

Before “sa grâce” [his grace] sat upon our throne as “sa majesté” [his majesty]!

Surely, the Great White Leopard,

has a great white paw.


Our King’s father was Walter Chalmers Reisinger,

who controlled many television businessmen in America,

they who are like griots there who help others to sell things.

Walter was Baron of Inneryne in Écosse [Scotland], and his father

was Walter Busch Reisinger. The Busch’s make the beer.

They lived in Saint-Louis in America, as I told you before.

Not in Saint-Louis called Ndar. Just like our King Edward.

Their castle called Ascog in Écosse [Scotland] is right by the sea.

They own an island in the sea called “Eileann Na Beaith”.

A thousand years ago they were attacked by warriors who came in ships.

Fierce infidels with horns on their helmets and smelly clothes.

The leader desired the beautiful daughter of the Chef.

He held a sword to the neck of the Chef of Inneryne.

But the Chef of Inneryne said “No!

Only a believer can enter my daughter’s bed.”

The warrior saw her lovely face,

and he fell down on his knees and accepted Al’lah.

and he married the Chef’s daughter,

and he became the new Baron of Inneryne.


His descendant, who became Baron, made a small crown out of gold.

It was not much gold, and it was very plain little crown, at first.

But each new Baron, son of the one before, added gold to the crown, and it got bigger.

One later Baron added silver.

One later Baron added jewels.

One later Baron added pearls.

The crown kept getting bigger, and more glorious in each generation.

After 100 years the crown brought fame and honor onto the people of Inneryne.

The King of Écosse [Scotland] heard about it too many times and he got jealous.

(This was before Ronald’s family became Kings of Biffeche.

They were only Barons in Écosse then, and a Baron must obey a King.)

The King of Écosse [Scotland] said “Only a King can wear a crown”

He said “A Baron can wear only a cap, but not a crown.”

You know that a King écossais [Scottish King] is sovereign and hates to see anyone above him.

So the Baron of Inneryne put a piece of cloth on his crown.

And he said “Now it is not a crown but it is a cap!”

And still it was rich and glorious.

And still it brought honor and fame to Inneryne.

All around the world.

They laughed and called it “The Cap of Inneryne”.

Can you guess the colors of the cloth?

It was blue and white, the same as the caps we wear in Biffeche

The same colors as the “écu” in the “armes” [shield in the arms] of Inneryne.

The same colors as the flag of the Kingdom of Biffeche.


You know that Fame and riches are not always good.

They may bring the evil eye and envy of other men and women.

We know about that very well in Biffeche.

Some warriors heard about that cap of Inneryne,

And they formed an army to steal the glorious cap.

So they attacked Inneryne intending to kill all the people and take the cap.

When the army came to the walls of Ascog castle,

the people of Inneryne were assembled inside.

Then the Baron of Inneryne stood on the highest tower of the castle

And held up high the golden cap.

The gold and jewels sparkled in the sunlight, like flashes of lightning.

All the men in the army saw the cap before they would attack.

The Baron shouted loudly: “Watch what I do.”

Then he threw the cap from the castle into the sea.

The army saw this, so then the army went away.

They saw it splash and sink to the bottom of the sea.

The army had no more reason for war, and they left disappointed.

So the Baron lost his glorious cap to save all of his people.

Each time a Baron of Inneryne dies,

a new Baron comes to Ascog castle.

And then, early in the morning, when the mist is on the water,

a woman rises from under the water, holding up the golden cap in her hand.

Of course the cloth is wet, but the gold still shines and the jewels still sparkle.

She is really the dead queen of Écosse [Scotland].

Each time, she hands the cap of Inneryne to the new Baron.

who always throws it back into the sea again.

But a bad Baron once plucked some jewels from the cap,

before he threw it back into the sea.


In Biffeche we are blessed by Al’lah Al Razzaq [the Provider].

We have an airport near us at Dakar-Bango, Sénégal,

And a great Université there too; Gaston-Berger is the name.

And a great barriage [dam] was built near our old siege of Maka.

It reaches Mauritanie where we get our dates [the fruit].

What ever is not in Biffeche, is very near to us.


Mbarou Bof is a lost child today.

But its brothers and sisters should return it to the father.

Come, Mboubène, come, Savoigne, come, Mberaye, take care of Mbarou Bof!

Bring the King to drink tea three times at Mbarou Bof!


King Ronald returned from America.

He brought us a giant rice-milling machine.

And he also brought the royal ashes of our dead King Edward.

Truly home at last.

At Savoigne we built a great tomb for the ashes of our beloved King.

With tiles made by grandmother Maryama and her daughter Fibi.

Now, speaking of the toubabs,

There is a priest at Savoigne, the italian Zanaboni,

who did many good things, and helped us dig a well,

but he is jealous of our King.

When the royal funeral time came,

Zanaboni stayed alone in his house,

seething with rage and jealousy,

and trying to cause trouble on his radiotelephone.

You know that, the Italians are a hot-tempered people.

Zanaboni would like to rule the Christians and the Musulmans too.

But he is not our King

He is not even Chef de Village.

The funeral for King Edward was beautiful and full of honor.

High sénugals and mauritaniens and farançaises came to visit,

with guards and soldiers and gendarmes.

and Chefs des Villages from all around.

The tomb was blessed with the waters of the sacred river Jordan,

revered by Musulman and Christian the same.

Our people originally came from Jordan, except our toubab King.

(Remember that Jordan was the place of black people.)

So King Edward’s body joined the bodies of his people.

And they are buried together in Biffeche today.

Then the time of honors came.

The King put his royal hand in our hands.

First, the twelve ancients who founded old Biffeche-Ville

got medals for their years of service.

Then old Baronet Faye was elevated to become Baron Faye of Savoigne.

Then Chef Seydou Dia became a chevalier.

Then Chef Malik Sow became another chevalier.

Both in the Order of the Crescent.

The Musulmans gave a feast.

The Christians killed a bull.

Both named new babies “Ronald”.

The Naar of Biffeche offered a palace to the King.

And happiness and djam came to Biffeche.

We work hard and intelligently in the fields.


We work hard and lovingly with our animals.

We make new kinds of art, and beautiful monuments.

We have big fun at parties and feasts.

But we will still improve our cooking.

Our chiefs and Kings are the wisest.

Boys and girls here find love and marriage.

Our villages get richer every year, sparkling now with electricity from our King.

We live in piety and praise Al’lah Tabaraka [the Most High].

With our work, Yalla’s love, and royal wisdom,

Biffeche will be the greatest place on Earth.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ END ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Epic Song of Biffeche